Take this free 2-minute reflection quiz to find out if emotional incest or enmeshment are still affecting your relationships today.
Some wounds don’t leave bruises.
They leave confusion.
They show up as people-pleasing.
As guilt when you set boundaries.
As relationships where you give more than you get — and feel responsible for everyone’s emotions but your own.
If you ever felt more like your parent’s therapist than their child…
If you carried their secrets, their stress, their loneliness…
This quiz might help you name what no one ever did.
This isn’t a diagnosis.
It’s an invitation.
To see with clearer eyes.
To remember without blame.
To gently begin the healing you’ve always deserved.
How It Works
You’ll reflect on 21 simple statements — some about your childhood, some about your current patterns.
For each one, choose the frequency that fits best:
“I experienced/experience this…”
- Often = 4 points
- Sometimes = 3 points
- Rarely = 2 points
- Never = 1 point
It takes just a few minutes. Add your scores together.
Once you’re done and signed up below, you’ll receive the full scoring guide in your inbox, so you can get a clear idea of the depth of your wounds.
In the first email, you will also recieve a free excerpt from this book:
Ready?
Take a deep breath. Answer honestly.
Your truth deserves to be heard — even if it’s just by you, for now.
Your Childhood Experience
- One or both of my parents confided in me about their personal or romantic problems.
- I felt responsible for my parent’s emotional state or happiness.
- My parent called me their “rock,” “best friend,” or said they didn’t know what they’d do without me.
- I had to comfort or care for a parent more than they cared for me.
- I felt guilty for wanting space or independence from a parent.
- I knew too much about adult issues (e.g., money problems, sex, addiction, or fights).
- One parent made me feel like I had to “choose sides” or be loyal to them over the other.
- I felt more like my parent’s partner or therapist than their child.
- I had to hide my feelings so my parent wouldn’t feel bad or upset.
- A parent got angry, hurt, or cold when I had emotions different from theirs.
- I felt I couldn’t have normal teenage rebellion or exploration without hurting my parent.
Your Current Patterns
- I feel overly responsible for other people’s emotions.
- I struggle to identify my own wants, needs, or preferences.
- I attract emotionally needy or controlling partners.
- I often feel drained by relationships but guilty for setting boundaries.
- I over-share with others quickly or crave deep connection instantly.
- I experience anxiety, guilt, or panic when someone pulls away from me.
- I feel ashamed when I prioritize myself or say “no.”
- I notice I try to “fix” or emotionally rescue others.
- I find myself repeating childhood roles in adult relationships.
- I fear disappointing others more than I fear betraying myself.
That’s it. There are no right or wrong answers here — only truth, clarity, and the beginning of something new.
If this quiz brought up emotions or memories, take a moment to breathe and thank yourself for your courage.
💌 Check your inbox now for your personalized result — along with a free excerpt from Healing Emotional Enmeshment: Reclaim Your Peace, Power & Boundaries.
You’re not alone. And this is just the beginning of your healing.
🌿 Healing from Emotional Enmeshment: Reclaiming Boundaries for You and Your Children
About the book:
A guide to reclaiming your boundaries—for yourself and your children
By Mette Glargaard (known by some as Mariah Wolfe)
Some wounds leave no bruises. But they live in your body, your choices, your relationships.
If you were expected to be your parent’s best friend, therapist, emotional caretaker, or “the strong one,” you may have experienced something few people talk about: emotional incest/enmeshment.
No, it’s not about physical violation. It’s about emotional enmeshment—when a parent crosses boundaries and turns their child into a stand-in partner, confessor, or lifeline. The result? A lifetime of guilt, over-responsibility, emotional confusion, and chronic self-betrayal.
I was there. I lived it. I grew up in it.
For years, I couldn’t see the patterns — until I came across the term “Emotional Incest.”
Suddenly, everything clicked. My life, my relationships, my sense of self — the whole mess – started making sense.
I wrote this book to give you hope. To walk with you out of confusion and invisibility… and into a life of joy, clarity, and confidence.
🌿 This book will help you:
- Recognize the signs of emotional incest—even if your childhood looked “normal”
- Reclaim your emotional sovereignty with powerful boundary tools
- Rewire your nervous system for safety, confidence, and self-trust
- Break the cycle for your own children—without shame, guilt, or perfectionism
- Step into a new identity rooted in clarity, worthiness, and peace
Whether you’ve been in therapy for years or just starting to ask deeper questions, Healing from Emotional Enmeshment offers gentle truth, grounded guidance, and practical exercises to help you come home to yourself.